The Great Kitty Escape – Part One

OK, so today as I was pulling into my driveway after choir, around 7:00 PM, I noticed that the door was wide open. At first, I just thought someone was getting ready to leave and were putting on shoes. Then I noticed there was only one other car (Catie’s) in the driveway other than mine. Now, normally this would mean that someone was home, but not tonight. You see, Catie took Michael’s car to work, and Michael and Cori carpooled in Cori’s car. This is when I began to panic.

I rushed inside, closed the door, and began looking for our three cats in all the usual cat hiding spots. I looked in all the nooks and crannies, under all the furniture and blankets, in the dryer and in the cupboards. There were no cats to be found. Now completely beside myself, I called Catie to alert her of the missing cats. As I was talking to her, I opened the door to see Sophia sitting in the driveway. I rushed down the stairs, and she ran to the side of our little porch. I tried to corner her, but she ran by me. Luckily, she decided to run by me and up the stairs into the house. I followed her in and closed the door.

After I hung up with Catie, I decided to try to find the other cats. I opened the door with treats and a flashlight in hand, and I discovered Dorian also sitting in the driveway. I put a trail of treats on the stairs into the house, and he followed his stomach back into the safety of the dwelling.

After examining the two cats that had reappeared, I went back out to look for Evee. Unfortunately, this time there was no cat waiting outside for me to discover. With treats at the ready, I started shaking the container and calling his name. I circled the house a couple times and looked under the porches and in the bushes. There was no Evee to be found. I went back inside to await Catie’s arrival.

As I waited, I decided that Sophia needed a bath after her excursion into the wilderness. Normally when the cats are given baths, we have at least two, if not three, people involved in the bathing process. However, I figured Sophia would be well-behaved enough that I could handle her on my own. She’s relatively small and is pretty easy to render immobile. I would chalk it up as a success as I only walked away with three scratches on my arm.

Come back tomorrow for the rest of the story…

I Hate Snow

Let me tell you why. It’s cold. It’s wet. And it makes my car slide into snowbanks.

Flashback, about 45 minutes ago. I’m driving home from Burlington (I went into town to look for new shoes and to see my friend Jordan at work). I left Jordan’s workplace because I noticed it had started to really come down heavy outside, and I wanted to make it home before it got dark and the roads got shitty. Good plan, right? I thought so too.

Well, I know that my car doesn’t handle the best in the snow, so I’m prepared for an epic drive home. Especially once I realize the snow is worse than I thought. At one point on the route home, you have to drive up a windy hill. That was not fun. And I could tell the car behind me wasn’t happy about being behind me.

As I reached the Jeffersonville area, I was behind a line of cars. We were all going 30mph because of the road conditions. All was going well, until the car in front of me slammed on its brakes. My car, not having snow tires, decided to slide when I hit my brakes as well. I had three choices to decide between in about a nanosecond. I could either hit the car in front of me, crash into oncoming cars, or hit a snowbank. I quickly decided the snowbank was the best option.

As soon as I hit the bank, I knew I was stuck. I don’t even know why I bothered to try and back out. Sadly, like much of Vermont, I was in a dead zone. No reception. Luckily for me, a motorist stopped and picked me up and drove me a little ways down the road till I got service. I called my dad and Catie to let them know where I was, and my dad told me to call AAA.

When we got back to the car (where the AAA card was), another man had stopped for me. He was driving a pickup truck and had chains that could pull me out. The first motorist drove ahead to block traffic, while a cop who had shown up blocked traffic on the other side. I just can’t help but cause a scene, I guess. Anyway, the truck driver pulled me out no problem, but then couldn’t get his hook off my car.

I pulled into the driveway of the people whose house the snowbank was in front of. They had come out with flashlights to see if they could help too. Lucky they did. The truck driver couldn’t get enough leverage on the hook to get it out. The woman of the house went back inside and came out with a hammer and a crowbar. The hammer was tried first with no success. The crowbar, however, was able to provide enough leverage to unhook the chains. I thanked everybody profusely, cleaned off my car, and drove home. Now I’m cold and really hungry.

Moral of the story? If you live in Vermont, get snow tires.

I want to take the time to thank everyone who read and commented on the recent posts regarding the demoralization of homosexuals in America. It means a lot to me to know that my friends support me and support my community. The comments and support truly warmed my heart and put a smile on my face. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now it’s time to scavange.

Let The Games Begin

As I restarted this blog, I was aware that some of the things I wrote about might rub some people the wrong way. I didn’t think it’d be so soon, but in response to the post I wrote earlier the author of the article I responded to chose to respond to me. Here are his thoughts:

Dear Shane,

The Golden Girls was not groundbreaking in any way. Rather, it was quite mundane and would have been forgotten in the dustbin of history if were not for the gays who cleaved to the show like cats on hamburger meat.

And your “essay” really only proves the point of my investigative article on the association of this tv show and homosexuality. You claim that every gay man has seen the show, that you’re an “avid” fan, that the show “call to the gays from the highest mountain,” you admit that Bea Arthur made you bitter, etc. etc. Clearly the characters and scenarios of this show have taught you personally how to engage in the gay American “culture” of today. It has trained and indoctrinated you into this reckless world.

Thirdly, you state, “Last I checked, in 1985 gays were not a very recognized demographic.” You may not know much about the 1970s and the 1980s, but yes there were gay people back then. I guess you’ve never heard of disco music, The Village People, Elton John, flaired slacks, Gore Vidal, ACT UP, Stonewall Restaurant and all the other scandals from that era. As someone who was a horrible witness to those times, I can say that it was unpleasant. You saw the popularity of sodomy and cross dressing skyrocket, while traditional American values were thrown out the window. You should lay off Facebooking boys for a moment and read a history book.

I also see you’ve taken issue with an apparent contradiction in my thought-provoking article– that gays are witty and dim-witted. Yes, they are both because the herd of homosexuals is now large enough to have that diversity. I am not talking about one gay persona, but the variety of gay men on our streets today– from the buff beefcakes to the angry leather clad tramps. Sadly, as a youngster, you still have this terrible fate ahead you.

With my blessings and love,

Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist

Well, I couldn’t let this golden (pun intended) opportunity to pass me by…

Hello Stephenson,
Thanks for your comment. I’d like to point out a few things, first I never stated that every gay man has seen the show. As a matter of fact, I clearly stated that I have met quite a few that haven’t. I also never said Bea Arthur made me, or any other gay men bitter. I stated that it was your claim. To continue, I never claimed that The Golden Girls had no effect on how the stereotypical gay man acts, thinks, and speaks. In fact, I awarded it the honor of being one of the shows responsible. The point of my response was to disprove your theory that the show <em>turned</em> men gay. People are born gay or straight. Just how God made us. Moving on, I also never claimed that there weren’t gays in the 1970s and 1980s. There have been gay people for thousands of years. I stated that in the 1980s, gay men were not a demographic that was high on the priority list for television studios to reach. And there was most definitely sodomy in the 1980s, and I would wager that the amount was not much different. It was more recognized in the 1980s because people began to realize it’s OK to be who you are. As for traditional American values go, how far back does “tradition” imply? If it means back to the roots of this fine country, land of the free if you’ll recall, then slavery would be acceptable, interracial marriage would be banned, and women would be looked upon as second-class citizens as I am today. It’s these traditional American values that you hold fast that prohibit me from a civil right, plain and simple. And I’ll restate this: most of the buff beefcakes I’ve met/seen in the media, are straight. And just to burst your bubble, I don’t foresee myself succumbing to a terrible fate. I’m in my fourth year of college with a 3.8 GPA, I’ve been living on my own successfully for over a year, and I’m generally a easygoing person. And I hate leather.

Warmest regards this holiday season,

Shane

P.S. I’ve never met a gay man who doesn’t know who Elton John is.

*UPDATE*

This clip demonstrates the reason gay men like this show. The Golden Girls was ahead of its time when it came to accepting homosexuals.

Thank You For Being A Friend

As a gay male who owns the entire seven seasons of The Golden Girls on DVD, I can honestly say that the show indeed carries the burden of being branded the TV show all gay men love. While I have met the gay man who has never seen a single episode, the majority of us have an intimate relationship with the groundbreaking sitcom of the 1980s. However, when Christwire decided to publish this article, I figured I had something to say about that. I suggest you read their opinion first, before continuing. Don’t worry, I’ll still be here.

As I said, The Golden Girls has long been associated with being an iconic gay TV series. Why? I haven’t a clue. There were three gay characters on the show (Blanche’s brother, who appeared in two episodes, Dorothy’s friend, who appeared in one, and a chef who was cut after the pilot episode [in some syndicated versions, his scenes were re-shot without him]). None of the “girls” were ever in a same-sex relationship, in fact, all of them at one point or another stated that they never intended to go down that road.

As an avid fan of the show, I can honestly tell you, there is not ONE thing I can pinpoint that draws me to the show. Dorothy’s bitter, yet witty retorts; Blanche’s egotistical, sex-crazed lifestyle; Rose’s naïvité and colorful stories from St. Olaf; Sophia’s brutally honest, sarcastic remarks and morals from Sicily; the devouring of a cheesecake every third episode. All of these elements when separate could never work, but combined they call to the gays from the highest mountain.

Christwire’s accusations that The Golden Girls is responsible for many men “turning” gay is preposterous. First of all, no one “turns” gay. People are born gay, and at some point in their life they realize it and come out. Or they stay in the closet and remain miserable, don’t get me started there. Maybe another day. Secondly, how exactly did a TV show brainwash men into deciding they like dick instead of vag? The site claims that the show had a “gay agenda” targeting “slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years”. You have got to be kidding me. Last I checked, in 1985 gays were not a very recognized demographic. Hell, we’ve just barely started being recognized in the past five years.

It goes on to citing Bea Arthur’s character as the reason why we gays are so witty. “Dorothy taught the gays to speak very fast and have the most superior attitude possible.” Hell yes she did. I wouldn’t have half the witty things to say if Dorothy hadn’t said them first (or Sophia, she had some zingers too). This is one point I won’t argue with. While Dorothy may not be the sole contributer, she was a generous benefactor.

Blanche is then accused of enticing men to have relationships that last a week. The timetable of a week being based on the amount of time between each newly aired episode. With syndication, gay men now find it the norm to have five new boyfriends a week! Having been “out” in the gay community for three years now, I have never once wanted a relationship to last only a week. I have strived to find a relationship that would stand the test of time. As have most of the men I’ve encountered. Not only that, but before I came out, I always wanted to be in a lasting relationship.

The dimwitted Rose Nylund is a representation of the lack of intelligence in the gay community. Christwire describes the macho, buff, beefcake men who can “bump out beats” but don’t know the difference between “Acapulco and an avocado”. First, Acapulco is a city in Mexico while an avocado is a fruit (PLU 4225, FYI). Second, all the beefcake men I’ve ever seen in the media… have been straight. Going on, “Lady Gaga references, truckstop handjob stories and Kevin Jennings defenses don’t add up to an intellectual argument.” OK, Lady Gaga, I agree, might not be the best artist to bring up in an “intellectual” conversation. Never once have I ever told a truckstop handjob story, and I don’t even know who Kevin Jennings is.

They don’t even bother discussing Sophia. I guess they couldn’t find any ways in which she turned America gay.

So let’s break this down. Dorothy taught the gays to be cold, disparaging, witty, and smart-mouthed. Blanche taught the gays to be fun, slutty, and egocentric. Rose taught the gays nothing as she was too stupid to teach, and they were too stupid to learn. Wait a minute… In the Dorothy argument, the author accuses the gays of being so witty that “by the time [the author] figure[s] out what the insulting gay man has said…he is long gone”. When he talks about Rose, he then accuses us of being stupid. He says gays are promiscuous and always looking for the company of men, but also that they are cold towards those around them. Anyone else notice something that doesn’t make sense?

The final note I will leave you with is this question posed by the author: “In a dozen years, the next logical step for these people is Florida. Will we see whole sections of this state devoted to horny gay retirees sporting the worst 1980s fashions?” Clearly he is unaware that the gays run the fashion industry. Even if we were to bring back the fashions of the 1980s, we’d never choose the worst ones. No worries.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

With the recent delivery of about a foot of snow from the Vermont skies, the Christmas season is truly upon us. My housemates and I have officially begun the decorating process. Our home, however, is lacking one major ingredient… a Christmas tree. We had originally decided on going out and buying a real tree, but now I’m having second thoughts. I’ve decided to create a pro and con list for each type of tree. Help me decide?

Real Tree Pros:

• Great Christmasy smell.
• That’s all I got…

Real Tree Cons:

• May have imperfections.
• Sticky and sappy.
• Pine needles.
• Needs watering.
• Can only be used once.
• Need to find somewhere to throw away.
• Have to look through a bunch to decide.
• The Christmas tree lots are outside. Where it’s cold. And snowy.

Fake Tree Pros:

• All the trees are the same.
• Can reuse next year.
• Don’t need to clean up/water.
• Easily found at Big Lots. Where it’s warm. And dry.
• No dead spots.

Fake Tree Cons:

• Doesn’t smell like Christmas.
• That’s it!

Even with all the cards seemingly stacked against the real tree, I still can’t decide. I’ve never had a fake tree. My grandparents always did, but that was their thing. Maybe it will end up being my thing too, but for now I don’t know. Any thoughts? Experiences?

In other news, I was quite satisfied with the finale of Glee last night. If you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil it for you. But I will say this… the moment I’ve been waiting for all season finally happened. If I have to wait until April to watch this show, at least they left me on a good note, and not a cliffhanger.

I also want to thank my friends Gabrielle and Tibbz for commenting on the last post. I want the readers of the blog to feel free to agree, disagree, or debate with me regarding anything I post here. So I hope you’re enjoying my comeback, and I will try to keep it up.

I Was Just Thinking…

Tonight marks the mid-sesason finale for Glee. If any of you reading this haven’t seen this show, you should be ashamed. It is by far the best television show going right now, and I don’t wanta hear any arguements. I’ll admit, sometimes, it gets a little cheesy/unbelievable. I mean, how can these kids be SO good that they look at the sheet music for a song once and sing it perfectly? Being a music education major, I can assure you that’s NOT how it works in the real world. But Glee is not the real world. It’s a television show. It’s one hour a week of just pure fun. It’s entertaining, witty, and musical. Some of the characters are a little underdeveloped (Tina, Mercedes, Other Asian), but the ones who boast the most screen time keep me on the edge of my seat. Every week, I’m stirred emotionally. Whether it’s finding out that Sue has a sister with Down’s syndrome, Kurt coming out to his father and dealing with the aftermath, or Terri finally admitting to Will that she is not pregnant, each week I connect with one or more characters. That being said, I am extremely disappointed with Fox due to a few things.

1. When Chris Colfer did an interview with The Advocate (I believe) in which he was asked about his personal coming-out experience. As soon as this was published Fox pulled the plug on The Advocate mandating that the coming-out portion of the interview be removed. The Advocate sadly complied. Fox’s reasoning? They didn’t want Colfer to be branded as a “gay actor” at such a young age. Then why cast him as a gay character? And, ummm, was there really ever any doubt anyway? Furthermore, Colfer had done an interview (on camera) with Access Hollywood weeks before this incident took place. In this interview, Colfer was once again asked about his coming-out story (click here to view it, skip to about 2:45) which he gladly answered. Thankfully, the backlash from this debacle seems to have calmed Fox’s fire (or Chris Colfer just doesn’t care because he knows they’re not going to fire him from such a hit show) because on an episode of Chelsea Lately, host Chelsea Handler asked if Colfer was, indeed, gay. Colfer responded in the affirmative.
2. Next, Fox pissed me off when they decided to postpone the return of Glee until April. Wait a second… Last I knew, it was supposed to be coming back in January. April is four months away, January is one. I vote January. I understand that American Idol comes back in January as well and that for 8 seasons Idol has held the Wednesday night timeslot in which Glee currently resides. While I’m not an advocate for successful TV shows changing timeslots as it can become confusing for the public, I generally hold off on that assumption until the show is into its later seasons. It can work for some shows. An example that comes to mind is Survivor. First season aired on Wednesday nights (at 9:00, I think), but second season it moved to Thursday at 8:00 (a spot it has been holding for 19 seasons). Next example, nip/tuck. The first five seasons all aired Tuesday nights at 10:00. This season FX decided to move it to Wednesdays at 10:00. I missed the first episode because I had no idea when it was on. Conclusion, a show can still thrive after a day/time change if it is made in its first (maybe second) season, and Glee would not suffer were it to air on a different night come January. Incidentally, Fox might have it’s best ratings ever if it were to have American Idol and Glee airing simultaneously.
3. Guest stars. I’m all for guest stars. For one episode, maybe two. Especially once a show is up and running and we’ve gotten to know the main characters well. The Kristin Chenoweth guest spot did well for Glee. Its primary audience would know her well from her Broadway success, and TV audiences would know her fom her Emmy-winning performance on Pushing Daisies. However, her one-episode stint did not take away from the main characters of the show. There has been news that the remaining nine episode of this season will see Jonathan Groff (of Spring Awakening) fame as a member of the rival glee club and a potential love interest for Rachel. If this is true, I assume he’d be more than a one-episode character. Today, I read that Idina Menzel (of Wicked and RENT) was in the last stages of negotiations for a guest-role on multiple episodes of the Spring season. It went as far to say she may appear in all nine episodes. As I said before, I love guest stars. I think their characters can bring something to the show that wasn’t there before, and some guest characters bring such a good presence and vibe that they become regulars. At the same time, we know next to nothing about many of the main characters. We’ve recently learned a little more about Artie and his wheelchair situation, but we’ve yet to see inside his home. Tina also recently admitted her stutter was false and a defense mechanism, but does she have siblings? Both parents? All I know about Mercedes is that she can belt her ass off and seems to be quite the gossip. And then there’s Other Asian. We don’t even know his name! I can’t agree with bringing new characters into the mix before we learn more about the characters that are integral members of the main cast.

Now I can’t remember the other things I had planned on discussing today.

Well, one thing was this. As promised, you can view my segment with Ross Mathews here. Skip ahead to about 35:00, my part lasts about 10 minutes.

Also, I’ve recently been using Pandora. I really love it. It’s a great way to listen to music that you may not necessarily have on your computer or in your CD collection. It’s very smart and is finally starting to guess songs that I’ll like (i.e., the past three songs I’ve listened to have been from a show by Sondheim). I wanted to add a sidebar to the blog so you can see the songs I’ve given thumbs up to, but WordPress decided to make it very difficult. So if anyone knows how to do this, let me know.

As always, this blog is for you and thrives on reader contribution. If you have something to add to my rantings and ravings, please go down to the comment section and feel free to speak your mind.

Finally, it snowed here in VT last night into today… and I’m over it. We got about six inches, and that’s enough for me. I think we can do without snow for a while now. However, it did put me in the holiday spirit a little bit more… even though I was totally already holidaying it up.

Shane

Wow, I Feel Old

Thanks, kids…

I’m Coming Back

OK, guys. So I’m gonna attempt a comeback. It’s been MONTHS since I’ve been on the blog. I’m gonna try something new. Instead of updating you daily on my comings and goings, because they’re usually not that exciting, I’m just gonna post things I find interesting and give you my thoughts on them. Don’t worry, I’ll still update you on exciting things that happen in my life, but I wanta make this blog more interesting for everyone to read.

So in that vein, something exciting DID happen to me today. I got a text from Twitter saying that Ross Mathews was doing a live streaming blog on his site. So of course I had to surf right on over and check it out. Well, he first asked people to send in their numbers if they had a question for him. Which I did, so I did. Then he asked people to send in their numbers if they had a holiday story. Which I did, so I did. Then he asked people to send in their numbers if they had celebrity encounter stories. Which I did, so I did. I had faith that today I was gonna get that call. And I freakin’ did. You guys I talked to Ross for about 10 minutes, and it was wonderful. I was shaking a little bit, but that soon passed. My heart was all aflutter, and I am convinced Ross and I would be BFFs. As soon as he posts the rebroadcast (since it was streaming live), I will send you guys the link to that. You won’t wanta miss it. Unlike the last time I was featured on his blog, this one is more than 45 seconds. He also had me plug my site, which gave me incentive to start up again. So if any of you readers are Blog Buddies from HelloRoss, please say hi. Go right down into the comment section and let me know that you’re reading!

That’s all I got for you today. I’m heading out soon to rehearse for the Michael Halloran recital coming up this week. I will post videos from that as well. I promise I’ll be back soon.

Shane

Just Thought I’d Share

Also, you can see pictures of my new apartment here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30276577&l=4d536df972&id=157300775

Moving Sucks

Especially in the rain, and especially late at night. Oh well, we’re in our new place, and it’s wonderful. The place is huge! My bedroom is bigger than before, and the living room is SO spacious. Sophia is really enjoying having a lot more room to run around. Well, she prances actually. It’s cute.

Things are going well. Classes are finally over. I got 4 or 5 A’s, and 1 B+. I forget. I did well. Work is good and tiring and stressful. Only when I have to work 6 days in a row though, on top of moving. It should be better now that Sue is better and Kristina is too.

OMG, so the Tony’s are next weekend. I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it. This is the first year that I really care about a nominee. Hunter Bell for Best Book of a Musical. He must win.

So yeah, things are going well. Can’t wait to get back to Tower and see everyone. I miss them! And hopefully people will come visit me in my new house! Byee!